I find it soooooo difficult to simply let go of the past and look towards the future.

A self-analysis, which I highly recommend everyone do on a regular basis, uncovered my need to constantly refer to the past for insight into the present and future. It comes so naturally to me you know. Just the need to look back like a safety net to make sure the past doesn’t repeat itself. Now the question I pause before is whether or not my past is keeping me from my future?  I say no, because it isn’t as if I dwell on it. I reflect and move on. I identify the lesson learned in the past then move towards the future.

Love is a very delicate part of life. One needs to be wise in who they choose to share their lives with–the good, bad, and the ugly. One needs to give a mate serious thought and fair consideration before accepting to go for the journey together. I would like to think I’ve made wise decisions although at times I have admitted to myself that I was naive to this dating business and have my own regrets. The most important thing that I have come to realize over time as I have matured, there were lessons to unearth.

I am not the same person today that I was then. The mistakes I made with my first boyfriend aren’t the same that I made with my last. I’ve evolved as everyone does in a relationship.

Burying the past is not as easy as it may sound. It’s not like you throw your history and those involved six feet under and throw dirt on it. As humans, we have emotions tied to different memories. Leaving the past takes a lot of time and energy. You cannot rid yourself of years, months, weeks, or days in a matter of seconds. It doesn’t work that way. Many of us have failed to come to this conclusion and wander around upset and confused. The sooner you can accept that you need to meditate or take some alone time to organize your thoughts and emotions, the sooner you can move on with your life to the next big thing.

Another questions comes to mind. Can one truly leave the past knowing all that I have previously mentioned? Our minds are like treasure chests, even though we throw them into the deepest sea, any shift in the tide can easily allow this chest full of hurt and pain at the sound of a voice, aroma, or even a familiar place.

We can never forget our past, but we can offer ourselves closure. Closure is crucial to one’s own heart between relationships. Both parties need to be honest with themselves and each other creating a fair environment where new feelings can be explored. The last place you want to be is in an imbalanced relationship where you love more than you have been loved. I hope I haven’t lost you but think about it. How disappointed would you be if you were madly in love with someone who still thinks about what could have been with so and so? Yikes!

Face your past and make peace with it. Remember to take the lessons learned and improve on your future. Realize that you will never forget your past, but it must not hamper you from living your present and reaching your future.

Yo no quiero Taco Bell. After enjoying an authentic Mexican meal from Rancho Alegre, I will never want Taco Bell again. Nor should you. Why eat processed food when you can enjoy fresh meals right off the sizzling platters?

Well let’s be honest here. I have never liked Mexican food. For some reason, I just never developed a palette for this cuisine. However, Rancho Alegre may have turned a new leaf.

As you walk into the restaurant, you are greeted by their courteous staff while enjoying the symbolic mementos that set the tone of the restaurant. From the cutout of Mexico and sombrero hanging on the wall to the bright cloths that drapes the tables, Rancho Alegre brings a little taste of Mexican culture to Brooklyn.

Located in Park Slope, Rancho Alegre caters to all customers. They do not exclude customers who do not speak Spanish with their bilingual menu. So there is no need to worry if you don’t know what a quesadilla or tortilla is, because the menu comes with complete descriptions of each dish.

You will leave the restaurant overly satisfied because they are more than generous with their portions. So be sure to bring your family and expose them to Mexican outside of the fast food chain.

RATING: 5 Spoons

Contact: 204 Garfield Place Brooklyn, NY 11215 (718)-369-2681

La bella vita or the beautiful life is in the wonderful dining experience at the Tutta Pasta.

This fine Italian restaurant sets a friendly tone by the owner who greets and seats patrons while stirring quick conversation to ensure that his customers are pleased to the highest degree.

Tutta Pasta has above excellent service from the waiters who know your heart’s desire even before you say a word to the food that is prepared fresh and quickly. The overall decor is well thought with the exposed brick wall which adds a rustic feel to the restaurant and the mirrors. It’s no wonder that this restaurant is Zagat-rated.

For the ladies, your experience in the lavatory will be one to remember as you are greeted by an authentic Roman statue which adds a bit of Italy to the decor.

If you’re ever in the mood for a rich Italian meal, a cozy setting, and superb service–stop by Tutta Pasta.

RATING: 5 Spoons and 5 Forks

Contact: 160 7th Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11215 (718)-788-9500.

I remember when I was a senior in high school and my friends would dream of their ideal car. I, on the other hand, would always say that I would be riding the Metropolitan Transit Authority to my destinations.

At the time, a fare was $1.50 compared to the cost of a car, insurance, license renewal fees, maintenance, and gas. I thought since I lived in New York City, there would not be much of a need for a car. Who would have thought that I would be singing a different tune three years later?

The fare has gone up $.50. There was a 3-day transit strike. Buses can’t seem to run on time and yet the average commuter like myself has no other choice but to put up with it.

If you spent your summer here in the city and relied on mass transit to get around, you caught a tan like I did. Standing outside in the hot sun, just waiting for the bus that never wanted to come was draining. When the bus finally pulled up, five or ten minutes after the schedule said it was supposed to arrive, there is no air conditioning.

I seem to be missing a piece of the puzzle. Is there something that the MTA sees that I have not? Obviously, with high prices all around, more people will park their cars and hop on a bus or train. More riders equals more money! It is no surprise that they are once again considering another fare hike.

So here’s another thing that bugs me. There are designated buses that only make limited stops in order to cut one’s trip in half and yet they run in packs. If three limited buses passed you by, expect to wait an estimated 15 minutes for the next one. That is not very effective in my view and eliminates the need for the printed and regularly updated schedules.

You have to love these truck drivers. I totally understand that deliveries are essential to area businesses, but city buses do not have much room to move around if your truck, aside from the parked cars on both sides is blocking 95 percent of the road.

Common sense says we should exercise a bit of road courtesy.

I would love to drive myself around, but I can’t. When you rely on people, you end up suffering the most. Frankly, I’m tired of it! With gas prices the way they are, drivers in the city as crazy as ever, and car expenses through the roof; MTA is the only way to go for me and the other seven million daily riders.

So what are our options? We can either walk, bike, or catch a cab. However, the easiest, fastest, and cheapest way to get around is the MTA. My prediction is that as the fare rises, good service will decline and I will have no other choice but to drive around in my little hooptie. Traffic in the city will become unbearable as it becomes overly congested. The car exhausts will pollute the small amount of clean air we have left in the city. I guess we will all have to get used to this in the coming years.

I am fed up with this life and its struggles.

I am fed up with crying and laughing.

I am fed up with talking and sharing.

I am fed up with needing someone else’s approval.

I am fed up with disappointment and dissatisfaction.

I am fed up of people telling me it’s never good enough.

I am fed up of being told no.

I am fed up of the “yes” I must give to make somebody else happy.

I am fed up with the lies and betrayal.

I am fed up with the hurt that refuses to go away.

I am fed up with the memories I have and don’t have.

I am fed up of the unhappiness and the frustration.

I am fed up of the charades.

I am fed up of waiting.

I am fed up of pacing back and forth…wishing.

I am fed up with reality and fantasy.

I am tired of watching and not doing.

I AM FED UP WITH EVERYTHING!

Single in New York is taboo. If you are single, female, over 30, and living in a urban city…well you’re screwed. I apologize if that sounds harsh but it’s a reality. Women are hustling and bustling and tucking this and that to attract a man and for the wrong reasons. Many women, especially those past their 30s, are scared of being alone. As they get older in age, their chances of catching a man just like their rate of fertility are slim. Can you blame them?

Women have always been told that they should have found their Prince Charming by the time they reach college. Unfortunately for many of us, the storyline didn’t follow suit. I am a college graduate still searching for my Prince Charming. A funny idea came to mind, does he even exist? Is he like Santa Claus or the Irish leprechauns that are fictional characters.

I was in a relationship for almost three years, my longest, and I found that it was a struggle to adjust to being a single gal again.  Me, Myself, and I was not the easiest status to accept after being “table for two” or “a couple” for so long. I had a partner to go everywhere and do everything with me. Now that I ended the relationship, it was all gone. As always, I am not the norm and refuse to be, because I was never suited to be a follower, to be a conformist. What do I mean? Well, although I’m single, I’m rarely home and no it’s not because I work crazy hours. I was a homebody in a former life and now I love to be out with friends. Just choose an activity to do and call up some friends and enjoy yourself. Granted, we all have our own lives to lead and may not be able to meet up at the same time to hang out well then hang with yourself.

We need to change the way society classifies singles. Single people do not need to be chaperoned to the movies or to dinner. We do not need a companion to go for a walk or treat themselves to a day of beauty or whatever else. Being single is not pathetic if you’re over 30 and it does not mean you’re screwed either. I have found that this generation is finding it harder and harder to settle at the age of 30 or younger. Our parents got married in their late 20s. Nowadays, many of us don’t even have marriage, family, and the idea of settling down on the horizons because we are still trying to make the best of our youth, changing careers, becoming entrepreneurs, or traveling the world. The 30s are now the new 20s.

So ladies if you’re 30 and above, don’t worry…Mr. tall, dark, and handsome might not be around the corner but he is on his way on his own time. In the meantime, don’t stay home pacing back and forth wondering what’s wrong with you. Go out and enjoy your own company. Be sure to remember that a man loves a woman who is comfortable with herself, independent, and not clingy (in other words…you have a life separate from him.) 

Orange and yellow leaves shower city streets. Supermarkets sold out of turkeys. Crowded airports full of families flying in and out around the world. Musical jingles fill the air. The holidays are here.

A time to give thanks for the things and people you cherish the most. Christmas is not too far behind with the exchange of gifts and a big man in a red suit with a love of milk and cookies shimmying down the millions of chimneys. Anxious children cuddle up in bed curious about Santa, wondering if they were nice or naughty this year to get the gifts he’ll leave behind.

White flakes fall from the sky to usher in the winter season. Will it be a white Christmas? Who knows….what matters the most is sharing the moment with family and friends.

It’s a damn shame when you see two women fighting over a man. Where’s the dignity and self-confidence? Take for instance the video, “The Boy is Mine” starring Brandy and Monica. These two beautiful ladies arguing about a guy.  In this situation, however the guy was a player. Is it validation that you’re seeking? The sad reality is when two women argue over a man, the only winner is the man who usually is not worthy. Where is the sisterhood? Let’s take a look!

I can understand why one would feel the need to fight to keep a man especially since we pretty much outnumber them eight to one, but to embarrass yourself–now that is another story.

Although I have never fought over a man because it’s child’s play, ridiculous, and quite demeaning, I have heard and seen it happen. I just can’t understand why a woman would even bother with it except if she was INSECURE with herself.

Insecurity, whether we choose to accept it or not, puts us in vulnerable positions which lead to senseless behavior.

We are all grown, well at least I would like to think so, and that means we need to get over ourselves.

If a significant other chooses not to love us anymore then let it go. Harassing and stalking the person and embarassing yourself by looking pathetic is not going to increase your chances of rekindling the old flame. It will only push him or her further away. I mean think about it for a second.

Can you imagine yourself returning to your boyfriend or girlfriend after he or she has called you over five times and constantly interrogates you as if you were a criminal? I don’t think so. If you yourself were in your right frame of mind, you would assume that this person has lost his or her damn mind and you need to keep your distance for your own safety.

In the end, your unacceptable behavior adds to the list of other issues that arose in the relationship which led to its demise.

Almost five months after I walked down the aisle in my graduation robe that hot Thursday morning and moved my tassel over to the other side, I can finally say that I am an OFFICIAL college graduate.

Right about now you probably have the look of confusion on your face, but let me explain. My graduation date was May 31, 2007. Unfortunately, I took an elective course whose professor “accidentally” failed me. I think it’s just too coincidental that as a graduating senior he happened to give me an F when I really earned a C-. The fact that he was so passive and lackadaisical in changing my grade so that they would correct HIS mistake on my transcript and finally release my diploma was atrocious.

Anyway, it’s finally in the past and for that I am grateful.

Brooklyn College Millenium Alumni Association here I come to get my beautiful, long overdue golden i.d. card!

Why is it so hard for me to accept the fact that I am once again single? Why do these thoughts continue to pass through my mind? Is there something wrong with not having a man? Why can’t I just be happy being by myself? Maybe it’s because I have always had a need for someone to be with me. Do I love myself? The funny thing is I don’t even think I want to answer that question because I’m afraid of the answer.

It’s never enough. I set standards so high that they are unreachable at times. Yet I get so easily frustrated when I don’t. Does it even make sense? I want to cry. I want love. I miss it. I need it. I can’t live without it. I keep thinking about my last ex-boyfriend. Should we reconcile or should I be strong enough and keep away? It’s not easy. My heart is so confused. I am hurting why can’t anyone see?

Since I started dating I have never been alone for this long. I have been out of a relationship for over a year and it’s not getting any easier. I keep thinking about the past, reliving old memories and emotions. I miss it all.

I am really trying this whole trust thing. Trust God first and he’ll take care of the rest. Trusting God to get these things done is not an easy thing to do. I am trying so hard but I can’t help but wonder what lies ahead for my heart. I have constantly been in control. I don’t know what to expect. Will I ever find him? Do I know him already?A Where is he? Am I ready? Will I ever get over my last ex-boyfriend? I don’t know the answers to these questions and that’s what scares me the most. The fact that I don’t know concerns me. When will these answers be revealed? I don’t know, only time will tell.